OK, one more entry... After missing the cut for my flight I decided to keep a log of my airport adventures, call it "How to Spend Two Days in the Airport" or maybe "Why the Airlines are Losing Money" or how about "Jeff is Really Really Bored". Here it is:
November 26, 2001
11:20am - Arrive on Turkish Airlines flight 1951 from Istanbul.
11:45am - First trip through passport control. Wanted to see if it was possible to get my checked luggage rerouted to my Northwest flight without actually entering Holland. After blank stares my passport was stamped and I entered the country.
11:50am - Retrieved my baggage.
12:15pm - Attempted to check in with a KLM agent with my ticket which was scheduled for a week later. Bad idea, she sent me to ticketing.
12:25pm - Visited KLM ticket counter, explained situation and received a boarding pass without a seat assignment for NWA flight 55 departing at
4:40pm - Received my first update sticker for my flight coupon and canceled my flight for the following week. A bad idea? Maybe...
12:30pm - Security check. Make sure you check that bag with the two knives.
12:40pm - Checked bag. Bag is specially marked by agent in case I there is no room for me on the flight.
12:55pm - Passport control. Leaving already? Now what? Four hours to kill, now what?
12:56pm - Pint of Heineken. OK, maybe it was 12:57.
1:10pm - Lunch... McDonald's, Sbarro, or Paul? Yea, I didn't know what "Paul" was either. Pizza sounds good, and a Heineken.
1:40pm - Duty Free... See, buy, and fly. Absolute Vodka = $11, Dom Peringon = $100, Tag Heuer Watch = $1300, Harley Davidson = $?
2:00pm - Check out books, magazines, CDs, and DVDs. What are all those guys doing? Ah! Dutch porn. The airport, as good of place as any.
2:30pm - Head to gate. Another security check.
3:00pm - Gate E7 . Time for a security interview. Are you traveling alone? Passport and boarding pass please. Where have you been prior to Holland? Syria? Why does your Syrian visa stamp indicate September 26th? I must talk to my supervisor. Who did you travel with in Syria and Jordan? Do you have any proof of travel in Syria and Jordan? Hotel receipts? I must report to my supervisor. Since you packed your bags in Jordan, have they been out of your control? Do you have any electronics in your bags? Please explain. Yes, yes, that's fine, please go...
3:15pm - Please leave your ticket here. We will call you if you get on. Yea right! The 40-some others about to be bumped were not nearly as agreeable as I was.
3:20pm - Wait, read, wait.
3:45pm - Boarding
4:40pm - We are sorry, the flight is full. Please see a KLM ticketing agent for rebooking.
5:00pm - You are on standby for flight 41 tomorrow at 10:45. Oh by the way, it is over booked by 27. You can pickup your bags at carousal 9.
5:20pm - Carousal 9.
5:30pm - Off to tourist information to look for a hotel. Marriot Airport = 350 Guilders, Hyatt Schipol = 400 Guilders, Golden Tulip Downtown = 100 Guilders. Fine. Plus 7 Guilders for service fee, plus 5% city tax. Need a map? 4 Guilders. A train ticket? Round trip? 7 Guilders.
5:59pm - Track 3, Schipol to Central Station.
6:25pm - Tram 24 to Munt Plein, 3 Guilders.
6:50pm - Golden Tulip Hotel, check into room 406.
7:10pm - Nice TV, more porn.
7:20pm - Ah, a shower after about 40 hours.
8:15pm - Irish Pub, a pint of plain, and some Irish stew. A port in a storm.
9:30pm - Sleep
November 26, 2001
6:30am - Alarm. Fucking alarm!
7:00am - Free breakfast. Is that bacon? French toast? Scrambled eggs? Real coffee? No, no, I'm not crying.
7:30am - Tram 4 to Central Station, 3 Guilders.
7:59am - Track 13, Central Station to Schipol.
8:30am - Check in, no security check this time, snuck by. Very pleasant agent, felt sorry for me, didn't do anything to help...
8:40am - Head to gate. Another security check. Quick one this time.
8:45am - Gate E7. Security interview. Are you traveling alone? Passport and boarding pass please. Has your luggage been out of your control since you packed it? You went through security yesterday? You may go.
8:50am - Please leave your ticket here. We will call you with a seat assignment. Yea right.
8:51am - Wait, read, wait.
9:50am - Boarding
10:30am - We are sorry, the flight is full. Please see a KLM agent for rebooking. Only two people bumped. Two people!
10:35am - Rebooking agent. Please go to ticketing. She was very pleasant. She did nothing for me.
10:50am - Take a number. You are on standby for flight 55 to Minneapolis, departs from E7 at 4:40. Oh, by the way, it is over booked by 21 passengers. What about going through Detroit? Sorry sir, it is available, but I cannot reissue a single coupon frequent flyer ticket with two coupons. So, you're saying that even though all the Minneapolis flights are full, and the Amsterdam - Detroit - Minneapolis route is available, I can't go. Correct sir, I can rebook you to Detroit and you can then buy a ticket to Minneapolis. How much it a ticket from Detroit to Minneapolis? $1071. Put me on standby for 4:40. He turned out to be a very pleasant agent, again he did nothing for me.
11:30am - Rebooking agent: What does your bag look like? It will be move to the next flight. Sure it will.
11:40am - Internet Cafe. E-mail to DeNamur and Lisa. Lisa, Don't pick me up at the airport, maybe ever. Love, Jeff
12:00pm - Lunch. Ummm, pizza, and a Heineken.
12:30pm - See, buy, fly. New Moby to CD set, 59 Euros... I'll wait.
1:00pm - Heineken, 7 Guilders.
1:30pm - Heineken.
2:00pm - Heineken.
3:05pm - Stop to take a picture of gate E7.
3:10pm - Gate E7. Security interview. Are you traveling alone? Passport and boarding pass please. You have been here before today. No? You have been asked a lot of questions. No? You may go.
3:15pm - Please leave your ticket here. Oh, you know the procedure I see.
3:16pm - Wait, read, wait.
3:54pm - Boarding.
4:15pm - Amazingly, my name is called, they have a seat for me, 29C, an aisle seat. I'm convinced that the only reason I got on this flight was my calm and cheerful demeanor in the face of an unpleasant situation. Others were not as pleasant and most of them got on before me due to preferable fare basis codes, but today one did not. Hurray!
4:50pm - Departure, I'm finally headed home after almost two months.
6:40pm - Arrive Minneapolis International Airport.
7:10pm - Passport control, Immigration, customs... No problems.
7:35pm - No one here to greet me... No "Welcome Home Jeff" signs, no balloons, no nothing... :-(
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