esler Travel-Log

Trip: 2001 - Middle East
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October 29, 2001

Turkish Republic Day

On this day, the day commemorating Kemal Ataturk's revolution, Turkey's independence, and a new westernized outlook in the former Ottoman Empire, it makes sense to discuss a few little things that would help Turkey edge toward true western excess and help them harmonize with the European Union... Who better to make these recommendations than the chubby American from Minnesota in his J.Crew pullover, Levi jeans, and Sketcher shoes?

Here it goes... The top five things Turkey needs to make it feel more western:
Better Plumbing - Specifically, some halfway decent shower heads. After three weeks here, I'm already putting together plans to buy a bunch of inexpensive but high-quality shower heads in the U.S. and go door-to-door like Johnny Appleseed and start a revolution installing nice plumbing, hot water, etc... I'll be worshiped like Ataturk.

  1. Food Diversification - The food is not bad in Turkey, before coming here I loved a kebab or a greek salad here and there, but after three or four weeks, you start to crave something different. Even McDonald's.
  2. A Good ol' Pub - We've seen a few bars and loads of cafes with hundreds of men playing cards and drinking cay, but a few nice long bars with beer on tap and some nice fried appetizers would be useful. This journal would definitely be longer if I could find a comfortable place to write.
  3. A Good Cup of Coffee - I'm not talking Starbucks and a "venti soy latte", but a nice brewed coffee or maybe an expresso would be nice. The cay (or tea) they serve is OK, the Turkish coffee has its place, but the Nescafe has got to go. There is a reason we don't bother with instant coffee in the states. It sucks!
  4. Clean Bathrooms - The gas stations and tourist sites in Turkey should be shutdown, taped off with that yellow "DANGER" tape, and they should send a SWAT team of cleaners in full biological gear to cleanup once in a while... And how about a roll of toilet paper instead of a hose or that nasty little bidet-esque nozzle aimed at your well... You figure it out.

These little problems are common to several countries and my journal entry won't change a thing... Unless of course I buy those shower heads and hit the road... Travelers have learned to expect this kind of treatment, but really, how hard would it be? How hard? It's funny how you find a hotel with (in theory) thousands of dollars worth of Turkish carpets on the floors and a 29 cent frigging shower head.

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