I left the country. I didn't think I'd make it. I guess I haven't really made it. I'm not sure I should be traveling. Who travels at a time like this?
I'm sitting at the Grand Cafe in Haarlem, Netherlands. This is the first leg (brief leg) of my journey to Turkey and my exploration of the former Ottoman Empire. OK, knock it off, I've heard it all... Since September 11th I've run the gamut of emotion, thoughts, and concerns. Like all Americans (everyone for that matter), I was hit hard by the images of jets hitting the Twin Towers and the later collapse and devastation. I still cannot fully comprehend what I saw, I thought the world was ending, I thought I was seeing one of my last days. I used to wonder what would have happened in 1993 if that bomb would have toppled the WTC... Now I wonder how many times something like that will happen.
Like everyone, I watched with tear filled eyes as CNN brought us more and more information, detail, then started in on their overwhelming coverage. Initially I was glued to the TV coverage. CNN has met expectations by moving from coverage to typical CNN-style exploitation. Initially I couldn't believe what I was seeing, now I'm having difficulty seeing what I truly believe. Everyone may be watching "America's New War", but I doubt everyone was simultaneously planning a two month trip to the Middle East. Some maybe, me yes...
I was still reeling from the devastation, collective trauma, and personal trauma, but I made the decision to continue with my plan. Four weeks in Turkey followed by three weeks in Syria and Jordan. After having already scrapped a plan to visit Israel, my plans started to crumble, people fell into typical CNN-style ignorance, and people attacked me with concern... I've never seen people so systematically both care for me and disregard my judgment.
We'll, here I am. Things have been adjusted to manage the mass exodus of American tourists back to their collective couches. I had to cancel my Syria/Jordan trip, I probably could have made it work, but peer pressure and unsatisfactory timing put me off the plan. Now I'm going to Turkey, still Turkey.
Trust me, I have my fears, some warranted, some ridiculous. I have fears that are new and some that are old. The adventurer in me is disappointed that I didn't stick to one of my original plans to trek from Istanbul to Cairo. The rich American in me is getting lazy and fat shying from the challenge and complication. The optimist in me is not changing anything and moving forward in caffeinated confidence. But finally, the realist in me sees statistics and human nature supporting the plan. Since September 11th I feel the following basic truths have appeared: 1) the world has changed, 2) I have changed, and 3) my travel plans are not worth concerning yourself over.
The cappuccino isn't working, I'm still tired, and unfortunately I'm heading into the Central Standard Time lunch with remnants of jet-lag. I guess it's time to switch to beer. I had an intensely long flight which began with an intensely long delay in Minneapolis. Thankfully my companion on the plane proved extremely useful... She was an attractive woman from Kuwait heading home from North Carolina State. Here I was sitting next to a devout muslim woman with a Ph.D. in civil engineering and talking about everything from Osama Bin Ladin, to the Palestinian crisis, to America politics, to the latest movies... This timely friend single handedly helped dash a half-dozen misconceptions I had about the situation, strengthened my confidence in smart people, and cooled my ignorant jets.
I've clearly run on... My beer is gone and I think it's time for some food. More from Turkey in a few days. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'll be fine.
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